Friday, October 22, 2010

A Fleeting Glimpse of “Lunacy”

A woman she is or so she would have like to be categorized as, had she been aware of it.
But she wasn’t.

It was yet another mundane ride to office. Having said that, a fresh new day, does manage to get me all perked up, for no apparent reason what-so-ever. So there I sat in that bus, at my favourite window seat, self-absorbed and snug on a winter morning, as it approached a regular stop on its daily route. Peering out, a glimpse shook me out of my smugness.

A woman disarrayed in literally every sense of the word – unclothed, ‘disoriented’ and in absolute mess, squatted on the pedestrian path. Strake naked, without a shred of cloth on her dirt-coated back (stirring clear of further description), she sat trying to figure out the reason for the furor around her, as the passers-by and the bystanders gaped at her and passed lewd comments on her obliviousness. All of a sudden the world seemed interested in her. Smiling under a confused expression, she seemed to be delighted at the ruckus that these odd clothed creatures were making. Unable to summon up, it had certainly caught her interest initially and she even seemed to welcome this blatant onslaught of curse and mockery. But it was fast wearing off. Soon she too was pointing fingers, cursing and murmuring... may be to silence them, but to no avail...and that was all that I saw before my bus pulled out of the stop and the mêlée faded away.

Onwards from here, only one question remained. Seriously? Isn’t there any sense left in us humans, any more than to derive mean pleasure from a mentally ill person’s oddity?

Thursday, February 4, 2010

No. Not explaining or analysing anything. It’s just a broken string of reflections.

I feel this moment…this very one.
It’s good.
Peaceful…one with myself, I am at rest.
It’s devoid of pain and fear… I am me for now.
I lay down my pretension, let go of my inhibitions and give myself up to the time and the moment.
I hear my thoughts…it’s been long since we met.
A million hopes fly by- my wishes and fantasies…to fulfill which, I run. Have lost count of how many they were.
But for now, they are not bound to me.
This moment in time …. It’s me.

We no longer let ourselves be. The race is on…day in and day out. And on the way all that’s left to show for it are the people we hurt, the tears we didn’t see, nameless faces, the words unspoken, the help not lent, the moments lost, thoughts unexplored…this rut that we call life, has left us numbed. There is no denying the remorse that we live with. But then weren’t these the compromises that we drew to make this life, a little more bearable, as we run to feel it all, see it all and live it all? And even when the finishing line is near, all that we have for real is an illusion, a compromise.
Oh if we were to feel the utter joy of sheer nothings in life!
• Sleeping to the sound of rain drops falling on the roof
• A palm caressing your hair
• Rocking to sleep, on the berth of a train like a baby in a cradle
• A stray hair wandering on your face as the wind blows by
• The tingling sensation of tracing names on your back
• Cuddling a baby
• The aroma from a hot mug of coffee
• A whiff of wet sand after rain
• Walking bare-foot on dewy grass
• Bathing in a stream
• The smell of forest
• And exactly that! That thought that you thought of but didn’t find it here.